(Please note that I am writing this post on Sunday, June 5. I am writing this message to the future. All feelings of anguish expressed within this post will be long gone [hopefully] at point of reading. Caution)
I FEEL SO ILL.
I would not recommend my Sunday afternoon eating habits to anyone. Just in case you’re wondering, marshmallow fluff and nutella are a terrible, terrible combination.
And by terrible, I mean utterly and irrevocably delicious…until you eat several hundred spoonfuls straight from the jar.
My afternoon: Take heaping spoonful of marshmallow fluff. Insert in mouth. Take heaping spoonful of nutella (note: ensure you use a different spoon and eat the marshmallow first, as to not dirty the marshmallow spoon with melted nutella). Insert in mouth. Enjoy. Repeat for the next three hours.
If it was possible to die from a sugar overload, I would not have made it through the day. You can’t really blame me though – I have never in my life purchased a jar of marshmallow fluff or nutella, so I had 21 years of spreadable sugar deprivation to make up for.
So why did I break the ever-established rules of my dietician mother and get these two nutritionally void products?
To make nutella and sea salt caramel chocolate fudge, of course.
As the title suggests, this was quite the decadent dessert. So many layers. So much sugar. Enough to make any one diabetic, really.
As I often do with complex, multi-layered foods, here is the anatomy of this sinfully rich dessert:
Layer 1: Melted chocolate and nutella fudge
Layer 2: Homemade sea salt caramel
Layer 3: Chopped hazelnuts
Layer 4: Some sort of strange marshmallow fudge layer, which utilized an ENTIRE JAR of marshmallow fluff (this post is warranting so much capitalization, apologies)
Layer 5: More melted chocolate and nutella fudge.
The layer-by-layer breakdown photo (minus the top fudge layer) was inspired by my dear friend and fellow blogger Brittany. Visit her blog, it is awesome.
Now, I was originally supposed to make this fudge for an office meeting we were having on Monday.
WHAT WAS I THINKING?
The only age group who enjoys layer upon layer of sugar is the under 20 bracket. Not grown ups. Perhaps what happened next was for the best.
Yep, you guessed it. The fudge got stuck in the bowl.
It was completely my fault. The blogger whose recipe I was using said this should be made in a big 9×9 pan. Instead, I insisted on using a deep Pyrex dish (to be frank, I was too lazy to run over to my old house to get my baking pan…lame). Clearly the part of my brain that determines when rational decisions should be made was on an extended vacation.
The emotional breakdowns that resulted from this sticky situation were not pleasant, and I am embarrassed to say that I ate away my feelings. Yes, that’s right. I ate even more.
The pictures you see in this post are of the two almost-full pieces of fudge that I managed to salvage and make look presentable.
So what will I do now? Eat the destroyed fudge with ice cream, of course!
In the meantime, though, I think I need a glass of milk.
A word to the wise: if you are to recreate this recipe, please, please, PLEASE follow the actual instructions. None of this Pyrex nonsense.